is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a reader with responses from a male and female point of view.
If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to : I have three questions about falling in love: Is it okay to ask God for signs to understand if a girl is the right one (see Genesis 24)? And what is the right time to say to a girl that I fell in love with her?
They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions.
Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.
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The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.
Additionally, remember that if either person has sinned, there is room for grace as long as true repentance has already occurred (be careful not to yoke yourself with another person indiscriminately).
John Piper is founder and teacher of desiring and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary.